One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
