I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
