Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Boobs speak an international language.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
