so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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