he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
