The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
