beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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