remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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