I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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