The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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