He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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