Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
