So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
