Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
