The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize