i think i have two assholes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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