i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
