Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
