I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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