Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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