Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
