I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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