she's into porn, im staying here tonight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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