No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
