I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
