Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
