Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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