My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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