I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
