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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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