I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
please come you make the beer taste better
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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