guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
