You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I looked at my own cervix.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
