We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
