You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
