I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
