Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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