peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
