she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
