hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
