I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
