why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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