There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i believe in u and ur pee
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
