I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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