Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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