the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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