6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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