I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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