i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
