if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In other news, I just burned my penis
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
