His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I believe in your delicious
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