You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize