billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
