her vagine was all disorganized.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
