Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
