I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
